My wife Cathy is a terrible writer.

Wait, hold on! That’s not true. What she is, is a terrible typer.

Her emails are riddled with typos.

But it’s in texts where her true genius shines. They’re a consistent stream of gibberish. Somehow even the Iphone’s spell-correct function is no match for her ramblings.

Here are just a few examples of some of her recent texts. Try to guess what she’s actually TRYING to say. I’ll provide (some of ) the answers at the bottom.

1) Goof lick.

2) Tommy, took ate if dog licenses

3) Tom Ryan E T A

4) West cheater

5) Shit/He said 4 pints shersto/Is that right?

6) Nice mis rwxt

***

1) Good luck

2) Tommy, took care of dog licenses

3) Train ETA?

4) Westchester

5) No clue

6) Absolutely no idea